Don't Weight/Size Shame

Is anyone other than me tired of all of this hoop-lah over plus size models versus “skinny bitches”?  I know I sure am.  It is so irritating to hear people go on and on about how plus size women have it so hard.  What about all of the skinny women; do you honestly think they have it easy?  How would you like to be referenced as a skinny bitch in most popular songs, or be hated by the majority of the female population because you were blessed with a high metabolism?  Don’t get me wrong, plus size women are not treated fairly either.  Plus size is synonymous with “fat” for most people – which is not a fair assumption.  Also, it is more difficult for bigger women to find attractive clothes in their size.  But take it from someone who has been small her entire life; they don’t make clothes that fit women who are stick skinny either.

 

I think that is where everyone gets confused.  Pre-baby, I was a size 0 or 1 and shopping was one of the hardest tasks I faced.  I am short with long legs; I have a butt and had a small waist – those combinations are not considered when jeans are made.  Now, I am a size 4 or 5 depending (I can still fit into some of my size 1s but not many) and I am still struggling.  I still have a butt (slightly bigger), a somewhat small waist, short with long legs and the introduction of some hips.  I am not plus size, but I am no longer a 0 either and yet, I still have issues shopping and finding clothes that fit my body.

What I am getting at here is that everyone has a hard time shopping.  Every woman has a hard time looking in the mirror and not seeing something she would change or fix. Every woman is in her most vulnerable state when she is in that dressing room trying on clothes.  It is the same for every woman.  Some women may have an easier time finding clothes that fit their body style and look good – at a decent price, but that doesn’t mean we should shame them because their experience is different from ours.  That’s what this all boils down to.  We, as women, have to stop this bickering amongst ourselves.  Quit calling someone a skinny bitch because she is smaller than you; and quit calling someone plus size (with a negative connotation) because she is bigger than you.  We have to realize that we all are different with a ton of different experiences and life situations.  That woman you are calling a skinny bitch may be struggling from a lifelong eating disorder; and that woman you are calling fat may be struggling with losing weight after having a baby.  All you are doing by judging is creating more hate and more judgmental attitudes to be created.  You have to be able to look at people without only seeing their size.  Someone’s weight is one attribute about that person – but it is not everything.  Judging and stereotyping someone because of their weight, however, can negatively affect someone and can cause lasting issues.  Whether someone is big or small, realize shaming a person because of their size (or grouping people together because of their sizes) only creates more issues.

When in doubt think of the golden rule: treat people the way you would want to be treated.  If you would not want someone commenting about your size, don’t comment about theirs.  If a person talking about your weight/size does not bother you, congratulations – you’re one in a million – but still keep your mouth shut! J

Financial Planner.... anyone?

Can someone get me a financial planner?  

After essential bills, food costs (going out to eat and just grocery shopping), daycare costs, gas and every once in a while buying something the family wants, our bank account is drained dry.  Oh yeah, and did I mention neither Tim nor I have our job benefits (sick days/PTO) yet either because we haven’t been on the job long enough.  Zoey just got over about a 2 week sickness and I think in total we spent at least $150 at the pharmacy, because in a household, not just one person can be sick.  I am currently buying two sets of diapers – one for daycare (where she spends 3 days a week) and one box for at home.  I try to save on groceries as much as possible, but couponing just has NOT been my strong suit.  I can't help but always find the coupons where you have to buy like 8 things before you get fifty cents, or I forget the important ones at home!  I tend to go without so our bank account will be fluffier, but for some reason, money just keeps oozing out.  

With gas prices going down, our gas bill is about $80 a week now (for two cars) which isn’t terrible when compared to closer to $100 a week a month ago.  We have cut back on some of our luxuries, like cable.  We haven’t had cable in 3 months, mainly because TWC is lame, but we have relied more on streaming and the internet – which we can ALWAYS afford.  We are conscious of how much we use our power (or at least I am) and make sure to turn off lights, shut the door when the heat/ac is on, and try and consolidate dish washing and clothes washing.  We have seen a smaller electric bill which is nice.  We have made a financial worksheet that breaks down our bills and we can see how much we are spending – but it only shows our bills not our random purchases (like buying 4 episodes of Season 7 of SOA because we don’t have cable or buying $20 worth of Burger King because we were too lazy to cook something).  We have tried cutting back on going out to eat and focusing on spending a little more money on groceries so we won't be tempted to eat out - but sometimes that just does not work.

Yet somehow, even with our cut backs, we aren't winning.  Honestly, I think we have a problem a lot of people do – especially poor people.  It’s called “when you got money, spend money.”  That is what we do, and I say we because WE have a JOINT bank account and I can’t make Tim take all of the heat.  He is a very compulsive buyer but I don’t put my foot down enough.  Unfortunately, he has no bank account threshold – what do I mean by that, you ask.  Well, to me, I don’t want my bank account to get down below a certain number, even after all of the bills are paid, because you never know what might happen.  However, Tim does not have a threshold.  He thinks as long as there is SOME money in the bank, there is some to spend.  Granted, I am not saying he is irresponsible with money, but I do think he could be more responsible – but hell, couldn't we all.  

We keep making these plans on how to be more fiscally responsible and conservative, but something keeps coming up.  We have family pictures next week – we have to buy a new outfit; hunting season is coming up – Tim needs a scope, a magazine, and camo; Christmas is coming up – we have toys we need to buy and cookies to bake.  It’s almost like you can’t win for losing.  Please tell me my family is not alone in this struggle.  I wouldn’t say we make a ton of money, but with both of us being full time employees, working outside of the home, and Tim having a second income on top of his one, I can’t help but wonder if we will ever have some financial relief?!