What would you do....

We are all very familiar with that annoying, catchy song thingy "what would you doo-ooo for a klondike bar?"  I am sure we have all hinted the melody at some point, or pondered what we would do for a klondike bar (or if you like me, and can't stand them.. substitute something else in it's place).  But honestly what would you do?  What would you be willing to do to get something that you wanted more than anything else in your life?  Granted this annoying little catchy song was meant to just sell klondike bars, but think about it.  Is this question not digging at something a little deeper?  Hinting on what you would be willing to do to achieve something you desire.  Some people desire klondike bars, where other people desire something a little different, but nonetheless, what would you do?


Of course, much like many of the other blog posts that I write, this one was inspired by a book I just read.  One of the main characters was left to choose between the man she loved and a promotion within the company she worked in.  She ultimately chose the guy because it was what she wanted.  She gave up her promotion and her job for something she desired. Would you be willing to do that?  Throw away something you worked so hard for, like your career, for something that you desired more?  I don't know if I can even answer my own question.  I could give you my normal answer to questions like these, and say it depends...but that is not the answer that even I want to give.  I definitely think a question like this is all about priority.  If klondike bars are very very important in your life, you would do a lot.  Just like the guy was very very important to her happiness, therefore she was willing to do a lot to make sure he was part of her life.  To me reading is very important, and I give up a lot of sleep to make sure that reading stays that way.


But, honestly, I want you all to think about this question.  What would you do for the one thing you desire the most?  Whatever it is you desire, you should want to achieve it, obtain it, make it not just a desire but a reality.  If love is what you desire, what would you be willing to get it?  If a career is what you desire, what would you do to get it?  If a klondike bar is what you desire, what you doooo-oooo? Think about it, seriously.  On that note, have a great night. :)

Keep Searching

My blog's name is ever-so-fitting for this blog entry.  I seem to be just searching...keep on searching I tell myself daily.  The life after post-graduation is starting to get to me.  I really want a job using my degree, and it is a whole lot harder to make that happen then I thought.  The funny thing is I have the grades, the experience, the flexibility...I just don't know what I am missing.  I didn't slack off in school and my resume shows that, yeah the job search is kicking my ass.  It is very disheartening, I am not going to lie.  Now I see why some people chose to go to graduate school/law school instead of going out into the job market.  For one of the first times in my life I am wishing I had tons of money so I could travel or do something fun in this down time before I start a career.  But instead I am back at East Coast Wings (granted, I am thankful they gave me my job back so I could save up money) waiting on chauvinistic men and rude ass women - I am so thankful for our sweet customers though!  I forgot how hard it was to plaster a smile on your face and be nice to people.  I just need to find something I enjoy doing.  I need a job that I will want to go to, one where I don't hate that I have to be there in an hour, or one where I am not counting down the days until my next day off.  I want to be happy with my profession, and that takes a lot of searching.  A lot.


And then I run into a different predicament.  Location.  I want to be out of the South for specific reasons - the fact I am liberal, these people stare at my black nails like I am the devil, I am not religious, and the fact my profession is more prevalent else where.  But leaving my home means I won't get to see family and I will be somewhat by myself in a new place.  I think for most people being alone would scare them, but I am ready.  I feel like it will be a good learning experience for me.  I am in the period of my life where I am trying to find myself, and hell, how much better of a time to find yourself then when you are alone in an unfamiliar place.  I will miss my family ten fold, which they don't seem to understand.  I have grown closer to my mom and my brother in the past 4 or 5 years then I ever thought was possible.  But if changing my location will get me a profession that I love, is it worth it?  I think so.  I think the location gives the profession perks to be honest.  Granted I wouldn't mind a place in like Greensboro or Raleigh doing research, which is still some distance from my family.  But ultimately, I think a completely new change in landscape would be fun, different, a learning experience, a change for me to grow and change.


Until I completely decide, I am going to keep searching.  Keep searching for the answers, the solution to my predicament, the right decision.  Any feedback would be lovely! :)


~The Girl Who Keeps Searching

Changes...

Well well well...
It has been a while since I have written a blog on here, but I felt that this was the most opportune moment to do so.  This past Saturday I graduated from High Point University where I was forced to say "see you later" to some great people.  Granted I was so glad to graduate and be done with school, seeing HPU in the rearview mirror was a little more difficult than I presumed.  I had to give some hugs to some of my great friends, but the hardest part was my inability to say goodbye to some people.


Throughout the past two years I have made some serious mistakes.  I have thrown some people under the bus and broke things off with people that I should never have - for other people.  I will never regret my choices, but I seriously wish, looking back now, that I would have never have done what I had.  In all hopes of fixing the relationship I once broke, I was halted by the person I hurt.  I hurt him too bad, and for selfish reasons.  I look back wondering how things would be now if I hadn't hurt him; if I hadn't been selfish.  But I cannot do that...I cannot look back and wonder how things would be different.  Things happened how they did.


As I sit here in my living room watching The Big Bang Theory I cannot help but think about him.  I miss his eyes, his touch, his smiles, his kisses and his hugs. Things were ALWAYS complicated between us.  We ALWAYS argued and we ALWAYS found a way to make things difficult.  But deep down inside, we knew we cared about one another.  He knew how to make me smile, how to piss me off, how to sweep me off my feet.  I knew how to work him up, how to make him laugh, and how to always make him give me one more kiss.  He is a great guy, and now I may never be able to kiss him one more time.  I hope he might read this and forgive me for the hurt that I caused.  I care about him more than he could ever imagine.


Changes.  Life events bring changes, right?  So why is this life event creating such an emotional change within me?  I wanted graduation to bring physical change: like a new job, a new house, a new state.  I did not want graduation to make me reflect on the hurt I have caused someone who means so much to me.  But what can you do?


For the guy this blog is about: I sincerely miss you and I apologize for hurting you.  One of these days I hope you forgive me.