Well well well...
It has been a while since I have written a blog on here, but I felt that this was the most opportune moment to do so. This past Saturday I graduated from High Point University where I was forced to say "see you later" to some great people. Granted I was so glad to graduate and be done with school, seeing HPU in the rearview mirror was a little more difficult than I presumed. I had to give some hugs to some of my great friends, but the hardest part was my inability to say goodbye to some people.
Throughout the past two years I have made some serious mistakes. I have thrown some people under the bus and broke things off with people that I should never have - for other people. I will never regret my choices, but I seriously wish, looking back now, that I would have never have done what I had. In all hopes of fixing the relationship I once broke, I was halted by the person I hurt. I hurt him too bad, and for selfish reasons. I look back wondering how things would be now if I hadn't hurt him; if I hadn't been selfish. But I cannot do that...I cannot look back and wonder how things would be different. Things happened how they did.
As I sit here in my living room watching The Big Bang Theory I cannot help but think about him. I miss his eyes, his touch, his smiles, his kisses and his hugs. Things were ALWAYS complicated between us. We ALWAYS argued and we ALWAYS found a way to make things difficult. But deep down inside, we knew we cared about one another. He knew how to make me smile, how to piss me off, how to sweep me off my feet. I knew how to work him up, how to make him laugh, and how to always make him give me one more kiss. He is a great guy, and now I may never be able to kiss him one more time. I hope he might read this and forgive me for the hurt that I caused. I care about him more than he could ever imagine.
Changes. Life events bring changes, right? So why is this life event creating such an emotional change within me? I wanted graduation to bring physical change: like a new job, a new house, a new state. I did not want graduation to make me reflect on the hurt I have caused someone who means so much to me. But what can you do?
For the guy this blog is about: I sincerely miss you and I apologize for hurting you. One of these days I hope you forgive me.
It has been a while since I have written a blog on here, but I felt that this was the most opportune moment to do so. This past Saturday I graduated from High Point University where I was forced to say "see you later" to some great people. Granted I was so glad to graduate and be done with school, seeing HPU in the rearview mirror was a little more difficult than I presumed. I had to give some hugs to some of my great friends, but the hardest part was my inability to say goodbye to some people.
Throughout the past two years I have made some serious mistakes. I have thrown some people under the bus and broke things off with people that I should never have - for other people. I will never regret my choices, but I seriously wish, looking back now, that I would have never have done what I had. In all hopes of fixing the relationship I once broke, I was halted by the person I hurt. I hurt him too bad, and for selfish reasons. I look back wondering how things would be now if I hadn't hurt him; if I hadn't been selfish. But I cannot do that...I cannot look back and wonder how things would be different. Things happened how they did.
As I sit here in my living room watching The Big Bang Theory I cannot help but think about him. I miss his eyes, his touch, his smiles, his kisses and his hugs. Things were ALWAYS complicated between us. We ALWAYS argued and we ALWAYS found a way to make things difficult. But deep down inside, we knew we cared about one another. He knew how to make me smile, how to piss me off, how to sweep me off my feet. I knew how to work him up, how to make him laugh, and how to always make him give me one more kiss. He is a great guy, and now I may never be able to kiss him one more time. I hope he might read this and forgive me for the hurt that I caused. I care about him more than he could ever imagine.
Changes. Life events bring changes, right? So why is this life event creating such an emotional change within me? I wanted graduation to bring physical change: like a new job, a new house, a new state. I did not want graduation to make me reflect on the hurt I have caused someone who means so much to me. But what can you do?
For the guy this blog is about: I sincerely miss you and I apologize for hurting you. One of these days I hope you forgive me.
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